Bobbing in booze
by Such Curiosity
Summary: “I tink I’m drun’” He said with crazed blue eyes.“Really? What makes you say that?” Peter asked, his voice laced with sarcasm." Peter walks in on a very...odd scene to say the least...*rated T just in case!*
1. Now the party don't stop till I walk in

**Well HELLOWW THAR!! :)**

**Just so we get this straight lets get this over with, I do not own White Collar, any of its hot characters, nor do I own a bottle of Vodka for that matter.**

**Yes I am well aware that there are a LOT of spelling mistakes on this and thats because well, who talks even CLOSE to perfect when your drunk out of the door?**

**PLEASE ENJOY!!!!!!!!! REVIEW AND FAV!!!!!!!!!!! RECOMMEND!! Me likey that =3  
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Peter couldn't help his curious mind, there was just something that seemed completely off. Neal never pushed off a free meal. Of course Peter had tried calling Neal's house phone several times and even went back to his computer to check out Caffery's location but that only showed he was home. Peter pulled open the door to June's home, June was out of town for a few days visiting family and whatnot. He shot a glance around the floor, his eyes scanning almost every pulverized corner of the perfectly tidied home. That women was the one for cleanness.

"Neal." Peter shouted, hearing a familiar mumbled song coming from upstairs. Peter sighed, about to turn around but once again his curiosity got the best of him. "Neal!" He called again, starting for the stairs in the distance. He trotted with ease up them until he reached the white door that held the thick songs coming through the walls. Peter hesitated slightly before pushing the door open just to be completely shocked at what he saw in front of his eyes.

"Tick to-k 'ound the cloka deejaayy blow may speakars zup tonight I will figh'-" Neal broke off in the middle of the song to look at Peter in the door way. "Aye! Lookie who showeded up to my lovingly home of awezomness. Pete whatchu doin' ova ter? Get over har FBI guy!" He called from the dining room table. Peter raised his eyebrows and sighed at the sight of Neal slumped in his chair, a bottle of vodka in his hand. His tie was undone and hung around his neck and the buttons on his shirt were loose. Peter sighed and walked toward Neal, eyeing him conspicuously.

"Neal, what the hell did you do now? Your drunk as day!" Peter pulled out a chair and sat with Neal, watching him with a stern face.

"Mmmm not drun' you…re the drun' one. Looka you, your fallin off o the char Pete." Neal stammered with a goofy look in his blue eyes. Peter shook his head.

"No Neal, you're pretty out there. Your just so drunk you don't notice your head leaning against your shoulder…" Peter said with slight humor. Neal straightened his head off his shoulder and kept his eyes on Peter.

"Oh will ya lookie thar? I guess you'rah right on that one. Hehe. Here I'll give you some a tis magical water. It makez you feel _gooooooood_." Neal pulled his arm up to expose the large bottle of vodka and tipped it into a glass on the table. Nothing came out, not even a drop. Neal shook the bottle lazily up and down but still nothing came out. He flung his arm up above his head and gazed inside of the bottle, closing one eye as he peered into it. "Oopzi daisies. I think I drinked it all. It waz here a momn't go I swear." Peter eyed him and nodded.

"I'm sure it was, kid. Lets get you to bed. God knows your going to have a hell of a hangover tomorrow. " Peter got to his feet and took a step toward Neal before Neal interrupted.

"Nah buddy, letz-stalk a lil bit, kay?" Neal asked, putting the bottle on the table with a loud clunk. Peter shook his head.

"No I think now would be better. We'll talk tomorrow, when you aren't totally wasted out of your tree."

"Awww. Wheres the fun in that? I don't see it. _Funnnnnn. Where are you fun?_" Neal leaned back in his chair, head tilted back as he called into the open house. He sat up slightly and shrugged at him. "I don' think it likeses you Pete, don' worray I'll make it come back nother' day." Peter nodded and started to pull him off the chair. Neal hesitated and flailed his arms.

"Neal, cut it out!" Peter said loudly, stepping away to glare at Neal.

"Don' wanna go to bed, not yet. Please Pete don't make me go. Lil longer." He begged. Peter huffed a 'fine' and went to go sit back in the seat he was sitting in before. "Thank you sweetie." He said in a drunkened tone. Peter shot him a 'what the heck' look. Neal leaned over and placed his elbows on the table, looking at Peter in the eyes. "That's wha Liz-beth calls you. She calls you sweetie. I hear her."

"Well…that's great Neal…" Peter said cautiously. Neal laughed a giddy laugh and leaned his head back, gazing up at the ceiling. He rolled his head to look at Peter, who was odiously both scared but concerned for Neal.

"Aye Pete?" Neal asked, extending one arm to Peter's shoulder as he patted it sleepily. Peter was almost amused by his actions.

"What Neal?"

"I tink I'm drun'" He said with crazed blue eyes.

"Really? What makes you say that?" Peter asked, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"I feel like I'm flyin'." Neal held his arms up in the air as his head fell to the side. "Look Pete, I'm Pete'r Pan! Whooshhhhhh." He said, moving his arms in a flying motion. Peter raised his eyebrows and watched Neal. Neal the suddenly looked up and shot an alarmed glance at Peter. "That means that you're the Pan guy, yous guys gots the same name! But Peter, wouldn't that mean I'm that really old fat guy with the big red nose?" He asked.

"No, that's captain hook's assistant, not Peter Pan's." Peter chuckled.

"CAPTAIN HOOK?! WHERE!?" Neal shouted best he could, barely getting up to his feet with his hand on his hip in a fist. In the other hand he held the vodka bottle in the other. He fell pretty much instantly from the time he stood up, before Peter could catch him.

"Jesus Christ. Neal be quiet and calm down!" Peter scrambled toward Neal and picked him up, not gaining any support on Neal's side. "That's it, you're going to bed. Stand up." Neal picked himself off the floor as his legs twisted and turned with every movement. He wasn't even this bad when he was drugged!

"Okiz Peter Pan but you gotta do your chours firs' kay darlin'? Never Never land is posed' to be nice and tidily clean" Neal stated. Peter rolled his eyes and pulled Neal toward his room, one arm under Neal's arms. Neal tilted his head back as Peter buckled under the younger man's weight. "Home, home in the city. Where the faries and the agents play!" He called loudly.

"Neal! Shut up!" Peter shouted.

"My, my, aren't we the lil gumpy type?" Neal teased. Peter picked him up again and this time they made it to the room. Peter moved him onto the bed.

"There we go, kid." As soon as he leaned off of Neal to help him get his shoes off and pull down the covers Neal fell onto the bed face first and hunched over, mumbling some other things into the blanket. The only thing Peter caught was when Neal turned his head to the side, avoiding the muffling blankets to speak clearer.

"I love you buddy but I don' thin' you'd look good in a bikini…." He said in Peter's direction as he untied Neal's shoe laces. Peter ignored it and removed his shoes for him. By the time he was finished he sat up and looked to Neal's face to see his eyes closed and his chest slowly rising and falling. Peter shook his head and laughed at his passed out partner as he positioned Neal better and rolled him onto his back. Neal let out some snoring and completely ignored Peter's existence, which Peter didn't really mind at the moment. _Note to self. _NEVER _take Neal out for a few drinks. _He thought. Neal didn't really seem like he was in a good state to be left alone, he could wake up and well…hurt himself. He was Peter's responsibility. Peter then took out his phone and pressed speed dial #1. The phone let out a few light buzzes before a sweet rhythmic voice picked up on the other end.

"Hey honey, I don't think I'll be coming home tonight."

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**SO much fun writing that chapter! Prob gonna be a 2 shot, possibly 3...i wanna get the day after :] LOL that should be fun...  
**

**Hes soooo drunk off his ass XXD  
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**Read/Review/Recommend/Alert!!!!!! [=  
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	2. After Party Amesia

**BOO!! =D  
Guess who! Me?! YUSH!!!  
Sorry it took me so long to put up a new update...been busy and all so...yeah  
Once upon a time there was a person who created the best TV series known to man. Everyone on fanfiction envied that person with ALL their hearts. The person lived happily ever after with ever so interesting story lines and characters...  
THAT PERSON IS NOT ME! Though a girl can wish...right?**

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There was something about the morning that just never agreed with a person. Was it the fact that the sun was to bright after an 8 hour rest? Maybe it was the whole fact of coming back to reality after blissfully ignoring it.

"_Ughhhhhh_" Neal moaned out loud, realizing the aching feeling in the very pit of his stomach that boiled and bubbled within him, not like his head was the least bit better or anything. He didn't open his eyes, he didn't _want _ to open his eyes. There was just something that warned him not to. _What happened last night? What did I do to make myself feel this way?...What happened to me?... _He wondered through the pounding cinder blocks in his head. There was an up motion in the back of his throat. Neal quickly leaned over the bed and brought the garbage can under him, retching everything he ever could have ate in just a few blows from the stomach.

That horrid, salty, burning taste in his mouth lingered around as he finished retching and pulled himself back up fully onto his bed. His mouth was bone dry. Neal finally gave into himself and opened his eyes, squinting heavily at the blinding light above him. He sat there for a moment, eyes halfway open until they adjusted to that then he opened them all the way. It was bright, he gave it that, but it always dimmed. Days like this he wished he didn't have such huge windows. Neal stood up and shook off the dizziness and aching pain in his stomach as he stammered his feet with a low moan to his bathrobe and stuffed his arms into it. He _soooo_ wished he didn't do that now, but in a way it was worth it. He didn't even remember going to bed. He waltzed down the hallway only to find part of someone's head hanging off the side of the couch. Neal always had someone there whether he invited them or not, its just how all of it worked.

He furrowed his eyebrows together and leaned over the back of the couch only to see Peter fully clothed but completely passed out. Why was Peter on his couch? When did he get there? Neal left him to go put up some coffee before he woke Peter. As he walked into his kitchen he noticed about 4 bottles of wine in the open trash can and an empty bottle of liquor on the counter. Surprising enough to him, he remembered where they came from:

_It was close to 5:30, about the time that Neal leaves for Peter's house when El makes dinner. Boy, did she make a good one. Neal being Neal of course was fixing himself up in his bedroom in front of the large mirror hung close to the dresser. As he was tying his tie he heard a familiar knocking at the door._

"_Just a minute!" He called to the person at the other side. When he was finished with his tie, Neal walked proudly to the door and opened it only to see Mozzie standing there with a few bottles of wine. Neal counted them. 'one…two, three, four...' He thought, looking at Mozzie with a confused gaze. It wasn't the cheap stuff either, it was the kind of stuff you would expect from a fancy outing. The type that went for up to $150 a glass __**((umm…is that possible? Sorry if its not!)) **_

"_We are going to drink this…tonight." Mozzie said to Neal. Neal shook his head and let Mozzie into his apartment._

"_No can do Moz, sorry. I've got dinner plans."_

"_With the suit?"_

"_With the suit." _

"_I don't understand why you always suck up to him, hes not going to let you off your leash sooner. Your just a pet to him Neal, you know that."_

"_Listen Moz, Peter and El are my friends persay. They invite me places I accept, its free food!" Neal said. Mozzie nodded slightly_

"_Alright, I guess you've got a point there. The suit's wife does make good food." Mozzie admitted as he walked to the dining room table and placed the bottles down. "Common Neal, one glass of each. That's nothing. I need a second opinion on these. Four glasses is nothing." He begged Neal. Neal pondered this for a moment. It really depended on your alcohol consumption rates. If you drank a lot it really wasn't anything, if you drank a little or hardly ever then it would be like a bombshell. It also depended on the amount of alcohol in each bottle, the percent. Mozzie pushed for an answer. _

"_Can't we do this later tonight?" Neal asked. Mozzie shook his head no._

"_I need this for tonight." He said to Neal. Neal gave in and plucked the bottle opener from his kitchen draw and walked back to open the bottles. That's where it all started._

Neal glanced down at the wine again. Of course Mozzie had something to do with this, who else? Him and Mozzie drank a lot of the wine, maybe a whole 2 or 3 bottles by themselves. Mozzie then left for home, leaving Neal with the glowing wine bottles. Neal couldn't help himself and started drinking the others without realizing it. His head pounded against his skull as another wave of bile pushed up his throat. Neal ran toward the bathroom down the hall before it escaped his lips and leaned over the toilet, letting it cascade down into the toilet. When he was done a few minutes later he whipped his sweaty forehead with his sleeve and sat there for a moment, making sure he didn't have to puke again. When he was completely done he stood up shakily and flushed the toilet, going to the sink as he brushed his teeth and walked back out to the kitchen.

The dizziness was worse and Neal knew if he didn't get water soon there was a likely chance he would pass out from dehydration. Neal went to the sink in the kitchen and filled up a glass of water and started drinking it slowly. He turned the coffee pot on for Peter and walked lazily back into the living room, taking a garbage can and water with him. He slouched onto the couch and rubbed his head with his hand. The light was still so bright. There was no adjusting. Neal pushed on Peter's foot with his own to wake him up. The agent stirred quickly and woke with surprise. He looked at Neal and raised his eyebrows.

"Well, look whos up. It's the man who thought he could fly." Peter sat up on the couch and looked at Neal who now had his eyes closed as he rubbed his head with his hand. "How do you feel, kid?" He asked. Neal grumbled something that Peter couldn't make out. "what?"

"Like crap." Neal said in a partially shouting tone.

"Yeah, you look like it to."

"_Gee, thanks."_ Neal said sarcastically. Peter glanced around the room and then back to Neal. "When did you show up?"

"Ahhhhhh… after party amnesia." Peter teased. "Well I showed up right when you were about to pass out at the kitchen table. You thought you were Peter Pan and then you called me Peter Pan… Then you thought you could fly. Then you were mumbling something about me not looking good in a bikini…Not good, really."

"That bad huh?"

"Yeah, that bad."

"I'm terrible when I get drunk, everyone tells me that." Neal slightly smirked.

"Well, I can believe them. I second that."

"More like thousandth." Neal corrected as he leaned over the couch and retched into the garbage can even more. A few minutes later when he was done Neal sat up and looked at Peter with glassy eyes. "Why did you stay?"

"I didn't want you to 'fly' off the balcony." Peter said to him.

"That wouldn't have been fun." Neal mumbled.

"You would have thought you were Superman, you wouldn't have noticed.

"True…" Neal sighed. Peter glanced over to him and sighed himself.

"Listen kid, you should sleep and I should get home to El before she thinks I was drinking with you. Come to work when you feel better, if you need the day take it. If you feel better later, come in later. Just don't blow chunks all over my office." Peter said as he stood up and took his jacket from the back of the couch and placed his arms though the sleeves.

"Theres coffee on the counter, if you want some. I made it." Neal said to him. "Oh, and Peter?"

"Yeah Neal?"

"Thanks for the help last night." He chuckled.

"No problem kid." Peter nodded to Neal and walked into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee in a disposable coffee cup to go and then started for the door. He turned out of the kitchen and headed toward the door as he glanced to Neal. "See you later Neal." He said only to realize the con was fast asleep already. Peter chuckled lightly to himself and turned toward the door. Man, that was a heck of an experience. Guess you never truly know a man until you walk in on them wasted…

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I don't think i will be putting out any more updates, its possible though! The world will never know...:]**

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